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21
General discussion / Re: What I have learned about screenwriting.
« Last post by pattypicasso on April 30, 2013, 03:53:02 PM »
Very good lessons.

I also learned that you should keep dialogue to a five line max. Again, a film is action and dialogue. If you need to have a character speak more, use action to break up the dialogue.

And always believe in yourself. You can write a screenplay. Don't give up!
22
Introduce yourself / Re: My name is...
« Last post by pattypicasso on April 30, 2013, 03:48:24 PM »
No worries, Aria. Take your time.

It's nice to meet you Sam! I am looking forward to your tips and reviews!
23
General discussion / Re: What I have learned about screenwriting.
« Last post by Aria on April 30, 2013, 03:47:36 PM »
I've learned you have to find balance in opposites....

I.E

-Be as descriptive as you can.
-Confine descriptions to 3-4 lines.

Makes sense to writers though.  Certainly does to me.

You also have to be able to convince yourself the following:
-My script is not unoriginal.

Once you've done that you have to take it a step further:
-My script is interesting.

Your script can be as original as it gets but if it isn't interesting nobody is going to care for it...

Just two simple lessons I've learned out of millions of other ones :P
24
Logline help / Re: My Log Line
« Last post by pattypicasso on April 30, 2013, 03:47:02 PM »
Well, twice when my character had tried to approach the nurse, some obstacle stops him from approaching her, and she manages to slip right out his grasp.

Ex: I have my character approaching the nurse, at boot camp. A drill sergeant stops him and begins to speak to him. She begins to board a bus during the conversation, and leaves the boot camp base, never to return. They are only reunited later in the story.

The Marine is more of a social recluse in the beginning. He keeps his head in the books, etc. He and his friend joined the Marines so he would meet new people. Then they learn they are off to go to war.

I thought about putting those elements in, but I kept them out. For one, I had a hard time putting them in, and I think it gets people to question it, like you did, and want to read the screenplay to find out.

So, I should reword it to: "A young Marine, sent to help liberate South Korea from hostile North Koreans, ends up falling in love with an elusive nurse, who breaks his heart fight before he goes to help recapture Seoul."


Thank you for your input though! I appreciate it!
25
General discussion / What I have learned about screenwriting.
« Last post by pattypicasso on April 30, 2013, 03:39:52 PM »
I hope that I have posted this in the right topic.

I recently wrote a screenplay about 4 months ago, and finished it quite quickly. However, I did not fully grasp the concept of a screenplay. I mean, you're just writing a script for a movie; how hard can that possibly be?

It is not as easy as it seems, I learned that. I hired an editor to review my first draft, and when I received it in the mail, it was HIGHLY covered in red pen. I knew I had work to do.

If you are interested in writing a screenplay, but don't know how, I recommend purchasing a copy of "Screenplay" by Syd Field. I learned a lot from that book, applying it to my screenplay. I can honestly say I am quite proud of my new screenplay. I have already had three friends read it, and thoroughly enjoy it. They got emotionally involved and everything. Good signs.

Anyways, I would like to briefly discuss some things I learned about writing a screenplay. Again, these are the things I learned. It is not scientific fact. These are my views. Note: I am new to screenwriting, and I have never sold a script.

First, remember that a screenplay is a story told through a visual medium. It is a blueprint. Do not approach writing a screenplay as you would a short story, novel, paper, etc. Screenplays are stories that are told through action and dialogue, and only, action and dialogue. Set up a scene, then have character's actions and what they say tell your story. Don't put "Michael was visibly upset at his mother for not letting him go out that night." Instead show that through action and dialogue.

Michael slams his hands on the kitchen table, his face turning red with rage.

                 Michael
           I hate you, Mom! You never let me
           go out with my friends.

He storms out of the kitchen.


Second, always remember that a screenplay is a 3 act structure. A screenplay has a beginning, confrontation, and resolution. (Beginning, Middle, End). Make sure you have that structure. Establish your main character and what he/she is after in the first act. Give them confrontations and obstacles from getting what they want in the second act, and did they get it or not in the third act.

Third, get to the point. Try to write as little as possible while still telling the same story. If you want a producer/agent/studio/etc. to read it, don't make it to long. They may have to read a lot of scripts in one day. If it gets to long for them, they won't hesitate to stop reading it. You can have the greatest story on planet Earth, but if you overwrite, it won't get read. Just try to keep as much white space as possible. It is more pleasing to the eye.

Fourth, write a log line first. I wrote a screenplay and then had to figure one out. That was a mistake! I should have wrote a log line first, that way I based my story upon the log line, not the other way around.

These are some of the things I have learned, and if I have more things to share, I shall surely post.

Thanks for reading!  :)

What have you learned from screenwriting? I would love to know.





26
Logline help / Re: My Log Line
« Last post by verbs-everywhere on April 30, 2013, 03:24:00 PM »
It absolutely captures the attention. You seem to have covered the main elements and plot points of your script pretty well.

How is the nurse elusive, though? And what kind of person is your marine? Jaded? Idealistic? There may or may not be a good way to work the answers to these questions in, but it's something to think about.

Also, if it were me, I'd move "a young Marine" to the start of the sentence. That way, you read "sent to help liberate..." while knowing who's doing it, and it gets rid of the pause. But I guess that's up to taste.
27
Introduce yourself / Re: My name is...
« Last post by verbs-everywhere on April 30, 2013, 03:09:32 PM »
Hi!

My name's Sam. I'm a college student majoring in English and Spanish. I just finished my fourth feature-length screenplay and I'm looking to get into TV writing as well.

I'm also a contributor on this site. I'll mostly be doing screenplay reviews and writing tips.
28
Logline help / My Log Line
« Last post by pattypicasso on April 30, 2013, 03:08:23 PM »
I have finished a screenplay on the subject of the Korean War.

My log line is as follows: "Sent to help liberate South Korea from hostile North Koreans, a young Marine ends up falling in love with an elusive nurse, who breaks his heart right before he goes to help recapture Seoul."


Thoughts? Does it capture the attention?
29
Introduce yourself / Re: My name is...
« Last post by Aria on April 30, 2013, 03:05:12 PM »
Expect a reply soon!  Sorry I've been so swamped.  I can't wait to have our phone consultation.
30
Introduce yourself / My name is...
« Last post by pattypicasso on April 30, 2013, 03:03:53 PM »
Hello! My name is Patrick. I am nineteen years old and I am a graduate from high school, having completed his first year of college.

I recently managed to get a first rough draft done of a screenplay in December. Screenplays, and writing, is a new world to me. I can only say I really only started in December. I took 3 years of television production in high school. In that class I have shot videos, edited them, made the morning announcements for my school, acted in some videos, etc. I never really got into the writing aspect of film, and it is something that I wanted to try out.

So I wrote my first one and was quite proud of it. However, being that it was my first one, I made a lot of mistakes. I got an editor and he recommended a book, I read it, and rewrote my screenplay. I am quite proud of it.

I am interested in writing more and seeing what becomes of it.

Let's see what happens.
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